Why you should feel good about your frequently changing interests
I was on a call with my colleague B. She had reached out to me to talk through her professional and creative journey and get some advice on finding the perfect side project to pour her creative energy into. Towards the start of our call, I shared an overview of the plethora of side projects I’d started at one time but abandoned after a short while. I was more than a little ashamed to admit to my ‘serial-quitting’.
B. had another view as she struggled with the flip-side of that shame coin: avoidance. Anxious that whatever passion she chose to pursue would fail to be the defining feature of her creative life for years to come - and therefore be a waste of time - she hesitated to start doing anything at all.
Quitting is frequently equated with giving up or being defeated. In a world obsessed with setting and tracking goals, productivity, and achievement, all we seem to treasure is the outcome - which tends to come in the form of validation from others. Will it help you gain followers on social media or generate an income? Hobbies are out, side-hustles are in. As children, it used to come naturally to us to marvel at a leaf or spend an afternoon with crayons, but later we lose the ability to be content with an activity for its own sake. Our time is invested so that whatever we do becomes worth it in the future. These mindsets result in a paralysing fear that keeps some from doing anything of interest and makes others disappointed with themselves for having done so but quit before a valid pay-off materialised.
Waste your time
At this point, I would raise a rallying cry to bring hobbies back, to do and make things we know won’t go anywhere as far as the rest of the world is concerned. However, throughout the pandemic years, many have already done so. Out came the sourdough bakers, hobbyist gardeners, virtual-art-class-takers, card-players, self-taught coders, and passionate interior decorators. Keep it up! Make time for yourself and then pretend you have time to waste. Because it’s not just fine, but amazing to pursue something you enjoy doing for doing’s sake. Often, the most pointless and private activities yield the greatest reward.
“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” - Marthe Troly-Curtin
Redefine success into purpose
Doing something out of love doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reflect on why you are doing it. Your passion does serve a purpose, but one that comes from the inside and grows you as a person. For me, the purpose of a hobby is often a combination of enjoying myself in the moment, learning about an area or skill I was previously ignorant to, and creating an object or some form of sensory output that embodies the above.
The beauty in reflecting on the purpose of a hobby is that you can’t fail at it. Purpose is ever-present. Unlike a goal that can be attained or missed, purpose always gives back. If the purpose of a hobby is to, say, get better at a skill - well, by doing something once, for the first time, you will have already done so. If you just want to ‘enjoy yourself doing something’ - even if you get interrupted after 5 minutes, you will have enjoyed yourself for those 5 minutes. Purposeful hobbies have no clear finish line. And that’s a good thing.
Set Goals Commitments
However, to know if a pursuit serves its purpose, you have to give it time. When testing a new hobby, I’ll say things like “I will complete a 12-week pottery course” or “I will publish a podcast every two weeks for one year.”. Occasionally, hobbies feel like work. After all, I still have to make myself do them at times, blocking out my calendar or staying up late. Sometimes I do the work but am not happy with the outcome. Then I just have to remind myself that anything that doesn’t present its challenges won’t help me grow.
“Apply ass to chair.” - rule for getting work done, source unknown.
I’ve also found activities are more likely to live up to their purpose if I focus on just one at a time. I can then let myself be absorbed by it alone for some time and not get too easily distracted by something else. Even if an activity is ‘just a hobby’, I get more out of it if I’m serious about it.
Be proud of what you do
Only a few paragraphs ago, I criticised creating something solely to garner attention. But sharing what you made because you loved making it is a whole different story. Don’t hide away what you are doing for fear of failing publicly down the line. Allow yourself to feel good about what you brought into the world. Not only will this add up to a personal record of your activities, but - if you build up a cadence - it will help you get into a habit of making time to waste it regularly. By sharing your work, you’ll also encourage others to do the same. And suppose I haven’t been able to change your mind and external validation really was all that mattered: In my experience, the people who tend to be most admired are the ones who do stuff.
Be a serial-quitter
Expanding your horizon and trying new things will always be rewarding in some way. Even if you don’t stick with a pursuit for long, you will have gained another enriching experience. There is no need to pressure yourself into trying to obtain extra bragging rights, income, or credentials by doing so. If you do anything solely for that purpose, it will soon become a chore. Reversely, experimenting with different ways to waste your time might lead you to the one you truly love. Then you will find it easier to make time for it. You will do it more often. You will get better at it than most people. And - almost by pure accident - success in the conventional sense will find you. But you have to start with curiosity, love, and the ability to enjoy wasting your time.
